Friday, 30 January 2004

Combover.com - Gallery

Loads of pictures of the Combover.A classic Hairstyle for men beginning to go bald.
Really,really funny.

Breakout.

A simple little game with a White Stripes theme.See here.

STFU

Here's a brilliant short video of a Girl who thinks she belongs on Poop-Idol,sorry,Pop-Idol.Don't say you budding pop stars have not been warned once you view this.Clicky Here.

Follow Up:2 Headed Baby Story.

Here's another.This time it's caused when a conjoined twin fails to develop in the womb.Disturbing Image Warning!!!

Topic::Nobby gone

See this forum for how the Toon army are taking the news.iB::Topic::Nobby gone

NUFC.com:Nobby Leaves

A sad day yesterday on Tyneside as Nobby Solano is sold.I can't see any sense in the deal for these reasons
1-He was our best player in that position
2-£1.5M for an international captain at the top of his game...too cheap
3-Most of all we loved him.

NUFC.com and howaythetoon.com sum up my feelings on this subject.

I would like to thank Nobby for his time on Tyneside and the pleasure he has brought us with his play and goals.I would also wish him well in his new career and hope he scores the winner against us on Sat. 17th April at Villa Park.
3 Cheers for Nobby,3 Boos for Bobby.

United We Dance.

Continuing the Britney theme.Here she is bumping and grinding with Bush on the White House lawn.United We Dance

Thursday, 29 January 2004

Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Tetris, Asteroids and more

All the classics from when we were kids.Play online or download them.See here.

Wednesday, 28 January 2004

Folding Puzzles - Amazing Art

A load of optical illusions and other artistic oddities.Folding Puzzles - Amazing Art

New Penguin Game

This time you are on a Giant,rolling snowball squashing penguins and jumping ice crevasses.

Pepsi Advert

A while ago i told you about a new Pepsi ad featuring Britney Beyonce and Pink.Well here it is.

Follow Up On A Follow Up.

Mike Rowe selling threatening letters from Microsoft on eBay.Again this will only mean something to you if you read previous posts.Clicky here.

Bill Clinton's Gift To Internet Age.

Fun fact: Number of e-mails Bill Clinton sent through his entire presidency: Two. Another fun fact: One was a test to see if he knew what he was doing.See here.

Tuesday, 27 January 2004

Shaolin Monks

The Shaolin monks world touring show The Wheel of Life is an incredible spectacle. The feats performed by the highly skilled practitioners of Iron Jacket Kung Fu seem death-defying, and mystifying. Behind every stunt, however, lies some straight forward physical principles. Daily Planet uncovered them in a week-long series featuring the Shaolin monk performances and physicist David Willie's labratory demos. What did he discover? Watch and learn...

Penguin's Revenge.

If you did'nt play the game on this site a couple of days ago then this will mean nothing to you.See here.

Rockface Game.

A cool little game where you rescue people in a helicopter.The game is connected to a BBC drama called Rockface.I've never heard of it but the game is good.Click here.

The International Hedgehog Association.

"Baby hedgehogs! Not only does it tell you about

the different colours they can be, but they

have the cutest pictures too."
FACT: A hedgehog can run at more than 6 feet

per second and can travel in excess of

5 miles a day.

The International Hedgehog Association

Drawing Adidas From Memory.

Here's a curio. What happens when you ask people

to draw brand logos from memory? Well, they get

it slightly wrong, that's what. If you've had

some poncey branding bod in to jazz up your logo,

frankly you've pissed the money away. People won't

notice the change. Yes BP, we are looking at you.

See here.

Most Understanding Secretary... Ever!

Tuffy works for a radio station and has made a

little flash version of a nuisance phone call he

made to the secretary. She doesn't get very angry.

In fact, she's great. Yay for her.

See here.

Evil Bible Home Page.

This web site is designed to spread the vicious truth about the Bible. For far too long priests and preachers have completely ignored the vicious criminal acts that the Bible promotes. The so called “God” of the Bible makes Osama Bin Laden look like a Boy Scout. This “God”, according to the Bible, is directly responsible for many mass-murders, rapes, pillage, plunder, slavery, child abuse and killing, not to mention the killing of unborn children. Evil Bible Home Page

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Check these theoretical answers from famous people in time.See here.

YELLOW SNOW

With the snow that is supposed to be coming you boy's had better brush up on your snow writing skills.I'm not sure if the Girl's will understand this,just click here.

The Lego Testament.

The Old and New Testament's set in Lego.
NSFC=NotSuitableForChildren.

Man Eats McDonald's For 30 Days.

Surprise surprise.His liver became toxic, his cholesterol shot up from a low 165 to 230, his libido flagged and he suffered headaches and depression.Oh and he get's fat.

92 Year Old Man Gets 12 Years For Robbery.

It was'nt his first either,it was his third in 5 years.See here.

No More Spam.

Bill Gates says his new software will elminate spam in two years.I hope so but i doubt it.See here.

The World's Smallest Cowboy.

A 17 year old Monkey on the back of a border Collie. Here.

Friday, 23 January 2004

'She Knew Where I Was Going'

As our children grow older and inevitably start to wonder further from home,what is wrong with GPS in their mobile phones? I know as a kid i would'nt want this kind of thing happening to me.But as a parent i now look at things differently and it might allow a little more freedom for our kids in the long run.See here.

Thursday, 22 January 2004

Penguin Game.

I'm still trying,i now have 493.6

Victim Struck By 3 Cars.

You know your luck is out if your hit 3 times trying to cross the road.See here.

Poor Pingu.

See how far you can whack the Penguin with a Baseball bat in this simple little game.See here.

New Boy George Video.

Well,cartoon really.Turn your speakers on and click here.

Wednesday, 21 January 2004

Where I Was On Monday Night.

Our 3rd goal(Laurent Robert) on the night was one of the most unusually spectacular goals i will ever see in my lifetime.I'm not sure how to describe it but this site said "a strange reverse overhead-kick".I only hope you have seen it on TV.
This man has now scored 3 contenders for goal of the season in the last month at St. James Park.What a Dude.
If he could be arsed to do this every week,cos we know he can,he would be loved nearly as much as God(Alan).I wonder if he had a tap-in whether he try to pass to someone else as it might not be spectacular enough for him.

Dumb Americans..Sorry Brits.

To make a change from the dumb Americans title i thought i'd find a dumb Brit.

Britney, Beyonce And Pink Go Roman

Pepsi to dress up Britney, Beyonce and Pink as gladiators. I wonder if they will kiss.See here.

Microsoft: We Took MikeRoweSoft Too Seriously

A follow up on a story i brought you yesterday.Apparently Microsoft did'nt like the publicity this story created because it was featured all over the net.Im pleased i played some small part in making them backdown by featuring the story here.Microsoft: We took MikeRoweSoft too seriously

While we are on the subject of Microsoft make sure you read the talkback section at the bottom of the page.

'Jackass' Stunt Ends With Teen's Death

When they say "dont try this at home",they mean dont try this at home.
Quite simple instructions i would say.

The Ghost Of Donald Campbell.

It has got to be,it couldnt be anybody else.See here.

Tuesday, 20 January 2004

Are You A Mobile Phone User?

Then this is what your brain looks like.People have laughed at me for years for refusing to own one.Now who's laughing?

Hangaroo.

Hangman with a Kangaroo flavour.I scored 5 on my first go.See here.

Bagle/Beagle Computer Virus Unleashed.

Look for the word "Hi" in the subject line.See here.
The E-Mail gets into your address book then sends out mail to everyone in your address book.So tell your friends not to write "Hi" as their subject cos you wont open it.

Origami.

Ever fancied trying Origami? Then see here BOS Home Page

Monday, 19 January 2004

Get a house cow.

Sick and tired of the traditional house pet? Here are just a few reasons why you should consider a cow.

Dot Confusion

See if you can count the black dots.Seems like a simple enough game but it drives you mad!

Are you ready to have kids?

We all know kids are hard work so it might help you by taking this simple test to decide if your ready for your own kids.

The Lawn Chair Man.

What happens when idiots take up flying? Take a look.

Saddam Hussains Family.

Now that Uday and Ousay have been eliminated a lot of the lesser known family members are coming to the attention of the american authorities. See here.

Powerpoint Mum.

A woman's advice to her husband, who is about

to babysit their child for the first time.

It's in the only language men understand:

Online animation.

Here.

b3ta.com-Lies Your Parents Told You.

Brill subject has been kept going for an extra week as it's so good.See my post on page 5.

Is Wacko Guilty?

Who cares but it's good fun to extract the Michael out of the situation.Play this game and have a laugh.

Wacko Jacko Is Innocent.

According to Uri Geller Jacko is innocent.Things look good for Jacko if he has Uri on his side.Does'nt it? See here.

Comical Ali Back On TV.

This proves the saying "you can't keep a good man down".

Saturday, 17 January 2004

b3ta presents: Davros & Steven Hawking in Electric Dreams

Just Brilliant.You must see this.Possibly the funniest thing of the year and it's only January.

Do You Do This?

I do.So now you know what's up with me when it seems i'm not paying attention.See here.

The Trouble With Tattoo's..

Is you get old and then they look silly.Then you need This.

Chavscum.

That's Charvers to you and me.At least that is what we call them here in the Toon.
Chavscum.
Loved the Celebrity Charvers bit.

Gallery Of Electronic Dentistry

Continuing the dental theme.Look at this gallery of dental horrors.

Jar Of Toothpaste.

Tubes of toothpaste are always messy or just a pain in the ass. Try this.

Thursday, 15 January 2004

How to thoroughly clean the toilet... and the cat.

Sounds like fun.Almost wish we had a cat so we could try it out ........only joking.

Wednesday, 14 January 2004

Did you know...

The Toon are responsible for the decline of Leeds United. This letter was recently sent to 442 magazine by a Leeds fan.


Nearly 70 Grand A Second.

We all know about the ongoing saga of Leeds United:The Trial, Instanbul, The Book, The Sackings, The Sellings, The Financial Mismanagement, The Rented Fish etc etc

However,no mention is made of Elland Road, Saturday,Dec 22,2001 in the annals of the downward spiral towards the Nationwide.

At 4:30 that afternoon Leeds led Newcastle 3-1. By 4:50, after 20 minutes of the most inept defending known to man. Newcastle had won 4-3 and pocketed the 3 points.

At the end of the season Newcastle finished 4th, 5 points ahead of Leeds, and qualified for the Champions League.

Now I know that it's a long time from December until the end of the season and much is still to happen, but if Leeds had held that lead, in the true six-pointer style it would have been they and not the Mags mixing it with the european elite as they had 2 years previously. How different would things be now? At £80M in the red and counting,was this the most expensive 20 minutes in football history?




Can i add 2 things to this..

1 I was there. It was one of the best games I have ever seen with my own eyes.

2 All together now "If you're proud to be a Geordie,clap you hands" and so on.

Kurt Wenner-Gallery of Work

I found the site of the pavement artist.Here.

Pavement Art.

Some of the best drawings i have ever seen.Somewhere in England.

I Am Feeling Hungry.

Kitten pie anyone? or maybe roast Puppie on toast.Hot dogs going spare in Switzerland.
Yuk.

Much Better Than Pop Idol.

You write the song (type some lines) and a host of pop superstars will sing it for you.Here.

Cool.

Tuesday, 13 January 2004

BBC THREE - Sortitout-man

A great new programme on BBC3 tonight.Watch it ,you wont regret it.Sortitout-man

New Member.Woo

A big hello and welcome to my site to the good lady.
If anybody else wants to become a poster on this page all you have to do is send me a few good quality links of any kind and i will consider you for membership.It is very easy to post to this page all you need is the google toolbar and hey presto it's that easy.

Widescreen Panorama Of Mars.

You could use a widescreen monitor for this.See here.

In Need Of Ink?

Why not get some spiritual guidance with your ink.LaserMonks.

Monday, 12 January 2004

Insanity Test.

Watch this clip without laughing(if you can!)you need sound so have your speakers on.Find a person who does'nt laugh first time and i'll give them a quid.Insanity Test

Woodgate Worthy Of England Call.

This article suggests with Ferdinand being out for Euro 2004 Woodgate is a suitable replacement.For me,and a lot of others he should replace Rio permanently.Woodgate is a far better defender and always will be.What man could stop Viduka and van Nistelnoob having a kick of the ball in 2 games in 3 days.

Simon Swears.

Remember Simon, the game owned by geeks when you were at school? Well,when i was at school anyway cos i dont know how old you are.Here's the internet version Simon Swears.NSFC
NSFC=Not Suitable For Children.

Robootik

A cool game.Catch springs with the arm before time runs up. Use up and down arrow keys to rotate arm around current joint. Use left and right arrow keys to chang current joint.

Play here.

Michael Dragson.

Think you could do a better job arranging Michael

Jackson's face than the plastic surgeons.Try here.

11 Years And Counting.

MORE than a decade has passed since Manchester United last had a Premiership penalty scored against them at Old Trafford.



See Here
This story is a pre-cursor to the next.You should know what it is going to be about.

We Wuz Robbed.

“We should have had a penalty and, if I was playing in red, I would have had one. But it is too much to ask to give Alan Shearer a penalty at the Stretford End.

Says God.

Doh!

Widow loses several fingertips when she mistakes a firecracker for a candle.

Clay Kitten Shooting.

Sick of Cats? P*&%ing all over your garden and being all over the net,well get your revenge Here.

Sunday, 11 January 2004

Klingon Wedding.

Some time ago i brought you the news of a Klingon Wedding.Here are the pics.

Dumb American.

Woman killed when SUV falls five stories from garage.Woman thinks

"Is Reverse forward?"
Doh!

Ow.

Bear climbs power pole, touches live transformer. 7200 volts of flying fried fur ensue (w/ play-by-play pics).See Here.

Have A Go Hero.

Elderly couple beat the living daylights out of a burglar with kitchen stuff.See here. I liked the bit where the old dear said "it's just as well i could'nt lay my hands on my rolling pin".

New Service From Google.

Google will define words for you if you type
"define:(YOUR WORD HERE)"
Here's a challenge,define:stuff

The Terrible Secret of Space

Just weird.This may take a while to load if you are on a modem.Go make a cuppa,it's worth the wait.Very strange.

No Way Dude.

Would you go willingly to get your nads touched with a scalpel.Check this Dog.

Win A Child For 10p.

All the effort that people put into making and having kids seems a lot when you can grab-a-kid at the seaside for 10p.With pic.

Wednesday, 7 January 2004

Scary.

Two men and a woman try to hide in the attic from cops; end up calling cops to report skeletal remains.Here.

Martians-With Pictures.

Scientists, agreeing Martians are super-race,

believe that planet may be signaling to us:New York Tribune Feb. 8,1920.

The Lake Of What?

Must remember not to go swimming there.Hee Hee.

Tuesday, 6 January 2004

Club Turns Away Amputee Soldier.

Nightclub refuses entry to soldier who lost both legs in Iraq because shoes he wears on prosthetic legs did not meet club dress code.Here.

Accept Jesus Christ and Get a Free Playstation 2

Children,did you not get the PS2 you wanted for Christmas? Do you want one? See Here

Cast Laugh.

Can a person really laugh themselves to death?
See Here.

Dumb Americans.

Fugitive caught when he stops to ask police for directions.Doh!

Panoramic Newcastle

See the sights of the ever improving toon in panoramic view.Here. You will need Quicktime installed to view this.

South Park Geordies

You have prob seen these before.But there's a new one added Laurent Robert celebrating his Spurs goals.Very Alan Shearer.Class.

Fact Of The (Yester)Day...

I am going to give the aforementioned the chop as i think it's not up to standards this quality website deserves.And i cant be bothered.If anyone liked them,E-Mail me and i will send you a list of my unused ones.
I'm thinking of doing an "on this day" feature with a story and a link,which should be more interesting.I will prob start in a day or two when i have ..ahem researched the subject.



Here is an example


* 1977: EMI fires Sex Pistols *


The music publisher EMI ends its contract with the notorious punk rock group the Sex Pistols

after reports of abusive behaviour at Heathrow Airport.




Full story

South Park Games.

Continuing the SP theme Here's lots of short downloadable games.

Cartmanland!

Great site.You can also download previous episodes to watch on your PC.See here.

ShowMeYourWound.com

Hurt yourself recently? Submit your wounds here.ShowMeYourWound.com

Origami

How to make an AT-ST Walker from Star Wars.Here's the main site for more.If thats not your thing,how about Cars or Buses.

Saturday, 3 January 2004

Marbles.

Quite a good game.Simple but very addictive.

Friday, 2 January 2004

Happy New Year.

It's suitable time for a round up of my Fave sites from last year.In no particular order they are-
http://www.nufc.com-Best NUFC site on the net
www.b3ta.com-Funniest by a country mile.
www.greendayvideos.com-Lots info and vids.




Some other sites that have made me laugh


www.fark.com


www.rathergood.com



Some good music and videos sites


Blink182-online.com


Blink1-82.com


Urbanchaosvideos.com



Some good info sites


The good old beeb.


rednova.com


wikipedia.org.

Have a great 2004 and i hope it's a healthy,happy one for you all.





Dumb Americans-Part 55667

"Damnit, my remote control airplane is caught in the power wires. Honey, fetch me the long metal pole."Doh!

Dumb Americans-Part 27643

When robbing a bank, don't write your holdup note on a personal check Here.

www.yournotme.com

See if your name is unique (me) or not (T wilson 1054) in the UK.Here.

I always knew i was special.

Modern Art?

If this is art,im the Queens mum or dead dog,whatever.

A slightly belated happy new year to my 2 readers.Have a good one.